An Amazing Race

In a move destined to amuse even the calmest among us, I have created a side project. One that is as complex as it is intricate, as sophisticated as it is elitist. I am of course referring to, Cute Dogs!, a collection of cute dog and puppy pictures.

Why? Because I want to test what will generate more Google AdSense revenue: an informative blog, or a few pictures of puppies which took less than an hour to set up.

For anyone interested in how one goes about making a dog and puppy web page for fun and profit, it is quite simple. (May require basic HTML skills, or access to Microsoft FrontPage or equivalent)

1. Download copyright free photos at stock.xchng. Check for any restrictions to ensure that you can republish the photos.
2. Sign up for a Google AdSense account (there is a link on the right side of this page).
3. Create an HTML document, and add a couple sentences about how cute the dogs and puppies are. "Awww...soo cute!", "Such a cutey!", etc.
4. Upload to your favorite web host.

Track your traffic with Google Analytics, and start generating traffic by sharing your site around the web.

Which site do you think will win? My money's on the dogs.

Top Ten (10) Worst Movie Jobs of All Time

Jobs can be unpleasant in real life, but on-screen jobs in our favorite films can showcase some of the worst career choices. Note: May contain spoilers.

1. The 6th Day - Dr. Griffin Weir (Robert Duvall)
Chief Scientist - Replacement Technologies

Against his personal ethics, Dr. Weir clones humans for Replacement Technologies in this science fiction thriller. When he finally decides that he's had enough and quits, his supervisor shoots and kills him... so he can be cloned himself and continue performing work.

Be wary of jobs which make you question your beliefs or morals.

2. Office Space - Michael Bolton (David Herman) & Samir Nagheenanajar (Ajay Naidu)
Programmers - Initech

It's not too hard to imagine what would make otherwise sane people beat up a copy machine. After working hard all day in cubicles answering to 8 different bosses, Initech hires consultants to help cut costs - and fires Michael and Samir.

Don't let your company treat you like they do a piece of furniture. True "job security" is hard to find when you are working for someone else.

3. Brazil - Typist in Jack's Office (Myrtle Devenish)
Secretary - Information Retrieval

In the Orwellian world of Terry Gilliam's Brazil, even torture is bureaucratic. Not only does the government's Information Retrieval charge individuals (or their families) for their torture and detainment, the typist responsible for recording every blood curling scream does so in a casual manner usually reserved for office memos.

Actively engage yourself in your profession. You may be surprised to learn what's really going on.

4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Foot Ninjas
Foot Ninja - Foot Clan

Members of the villain Shredder's Foot Clan are indistinguishable and disposable. Trained to fight the Turtles in this live action version of the hit cartoon series, the Foot Ninja's always lose. When the Turtles save the day and defeat the Ninja's, Shredder simply trains more - or builds robots to perform the same tasks.

Does your company care about you? If you are not "valuable" in their eyes, you may lose your job to other people (or machines).

5. The Shining - Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson)
Caretaker - Overlook Hotel

Sometime your job can make your crazy. In the movie version of Stephen King's classic, Jack Torrance is driven to both insanity and a murderous rampage. Cooped up in a hotel with his family for the winter, Jack finds the job of caretaker a little hard to handle.

If all work and no play is making you dull, consider a career change.

6. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir Lancelot (Eric Idle)
Knight - Knights of the Round Table

This movie by the comedy troupe Monty Python introduces us to Sir Robin, whose job requires him to not be afraid to be killed in nasty ways. When Robin encounters a monster, he responds by "bravely" running away.

It's usually not worth risking your health to rise up the corporate ladder.

7. Click - Michael Newman (Adam Sandler)
Architect

In Click, Adam Sandler has a magical remote which fast forwards him through life as he climbs the company ladder to partner, and eventually CEO. His family life drastically suffers as a result, and before he knows it, he has fast forwarded to his death.

As the saying goes, no one on their death bed ever wishes they spent more time in the office. Always cherish time spent with your loved ones.

8. 2001: A Space Odyssey - Dave Bowman (Keir Dullea)
Astronaut - USSC Discovery One

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that." On a space flight towards Jupiter, HAL 9000 is a supercomputer that has killed most of the crew and is now trying to end Dave Bowman's life. The intelligent HAL simply will not accept being shut down, and does everything he can to defend himself.

Poor co-workers and a bad work environment may be hazardous to your health.

9. Nineteen Eighty-Four - Winston Smith (John Hurt)
Clerk - Ministry of Truth

The Ministry of Truth controls all information in this adaptation of George Orwell's classic novel. Constantly under surveillance and forced to literally re-write the past, Winston tries to break free when he falls in love with a co-worker. The result is a long trip to the Ministry of Love, where he is tortured.

Be your own person - don't let your employer control your every move.

10. Hudsucker Proxy - Norville Barnes (Tim Robbins)
President - Hudsucker Industries

Even being the person in charge has its drawbacks. The Board of Directors for Hudsucker Industries devises a scheme to promote mail room clerk Norville Barnes to President, so that they can buy up shares of the company when the value of the stock plummets.

Be cautious so that you are not merely a pawn in someone else's game.

If you find that you too closely resemble one of the above characters, consider reading How to Quit Your Job.

Small Business Ideas: How to Become a Tour Guide

One type of guide is a Walking Tour Guide, someone who leads groups of people throughout a city or attraction, while providing relevant and interesting historical, educational, and fun trivia. Some walking tours even have interesting themes that play into people's interests - for example, Ghost Tours, Food Stand Tours, or Park Tours.

People like to be in the know. Provide them with interesting "underground" or "local" information. This information may be acquired through your own experiences, or you can simply do some Google searches. The information is out there if you are willing to look.

After learning about the place you want to be a guide in, it may be necessary to obtain a license. For example, in New York City, you must pay a small fee and pass a multiple choice exam.

Helpful Hint: Once you have your license, a novel way to drive up business is to go to the city where you are a guide, and offer "free" tours. After giving a tour for 20 or so minutes, tell everyone that the introductory portion of the tour has concluded, and that the remainder of the tour costs X amount of dollars. If you're an interesting speaker, many will stay.

What's the next step? Consider becoming an Audio Tour Guide.

How to Quit Your Job

Decided to finally Quit Your Job*, eh? After reading the Top Ten (10) Reasons to Quit Your Job, you want to make your move... but what's next?

If you do decide to quit, remember to:

1. Read Your Employee Handbook.

Know all relevant policies and procedures your company has for quitting.

2. Give two weeks notice.

You're still in the game, so you should follow basic business etiquette. Refer to your Employee Manual to see if the company requires a longer amount of proper time to give your notice. You don't have to - and shouldn't - give more time than necessary.

3. Get paid for any unused benefit time.

Don't forget to confirm the amount of unused sick, vacation, and personal days you have, and receive any un-reimbursed expenses.

4. Ask for a reference.

If you decide to start working again, you'll want your next employer to know that you left on good terms.

5. Don't burn bridges.

Your employer will ask you why you are leaving. Strategically plan out your answer before hand, remembering to stay on good terms with your employer. You may need them for references or networking purposes later.

6. Roll over your 401(k).

Easier to do than it sounds. Open up a Traditional IRA at your favorite discount broker, and do a direct rollover from your employer's 401(k) plan. Have a Roth 401(k) as well? Perform a rollover to a Roth IRA. Just make sure to do it soon - you typically have about 60 days, but don't procrastinate - do it right away.

7. Consider your health insurance options.

Carefully look over your COBRA rights for extended health insurance coverage, and look into individual health insurance plans. http://www.ehealthinsurance.com is a good place to start.

8. Consider starting a small business.

You don't have to work for another employer right away, or in theory, ever again. It can be healthy to take time off and travel. While you are at it, why not consider opening up a small business, and control your own destiny?

9. Enjoy.

* Before quitting any job, carefully consider all factors involved and do not solely rely on blog posts.

Top Ten (10) Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Job

For those among us who are young and have little to no responsibilities, here is a handy list of why you should Quit Your Job*.

Fresh out of college and just started that first office job? Don't have any children? Don't have a mortgage to pay and have very few expenses? If so, you pre-qualify for Quit Your Job Express.

Top Ten (10) Reasons to Quit Your Job Express:

10. Your job doesn't let you travel. There are so many places to see in your lifetime, but staying in the same place for 40+ hours a week won't get you anywhere near them.
9. Your job doesn't let you work from home. It's the age of the Internet, but your employer is reluctant to update its policies.
8. You're bored. You're not happy. If you are not getting joy out of life, what are you getting?
7. You don't want to turn into your supervisor in 20 years. If this thought scares you, think about the "career ladder" that you are currently on.
6. You have a family and friends. Your company would rather you work overtime than let you see the people you care about.
5. You're not helping people. Does the company you work for have a positive impact on the world and its inhabitants?
4. Commuting is no fun. Neither is wasting your time, or polluting the earth.
3. Your employer doesn't trust its' employees. A large "Employee Manual" and occasional meetings about the company's dress code doesn't help.
2. Bureaucracy. The company you work for should have a structure, not unnecessary red tape to get a simple task done.
1. You are helping other people get rich. You can't get rich off a salary, and you may not like/agree with the people who you are making rich.

Bonus Reason: There's only so much time. Life is too short to hold grudges, watch too much television, or sit in an office. Explore the Earth - Rid the world of poverty, run for political office, become a fighter pilot.

What's the next step? How to Quit Your Job

* Before quitting any job, carefully consider all factors involved and do not solely rely on blog posts.

On Wealth

I propose that one's wealth may be expressed as the following:

Wealth = time + money + power + happiness + risk

Where;

Time = The amount of time one has left in their life, and the amount of freedom one has to do what they want with that time. Time decreases if one works for another, has health problems, and as one ages.

Money = One's net worth including all monies, assets, property, etc.

Power = Amount of social, corporate, and political influence one has through relationships, networking, leadership positions, and friends/family.

Risk = Amount of risk one is willing and able to take, ranging from investment decisions to lottery tickets purchases.

Wealth may increase and decrease over time for an individual. It may also remain constant as various components of wealth grow larger and smaller. For example, many people trade their time for money through employment. Similarly, one can invest time and risk to achieve power, or may spend money to find happiness.

When it comes to money and power, is everyone equal?

Let's assume that you exist in a world where some people have no money, some have little money, and some have a lot. Let us also assume that you currently have some money, but would like more. I think it's safe to say that this hypothetical is not too much of a stretch.

Person A's money ≠ Person B's money ≠ Your money

Or

Person A's Wealth ≠ Person B's Wealth ≠ Your Wealth

Much like Conservation of energy or Conservation of mass, the total amount of money or Wealth in this world can not change, i.e. if more money is printed, it devalues the existing money accordingly.

Thus, for any time A and B, we have the Conservation of Wealth:

∑ Wealth (time = A) = ∑ Wealth (time = B)

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For example, if I buy a share of stock of a company, someone (or something) is selling me that share. If I bought company XYZ @ $50, and sold it at $70, another person is buying the share at price of $70. By selling, I increased the amount of money I have, and decreased the amount of risk I had. The person who bought the share decreased the amount of money and time they had (with their money tied up, they have less freedom to do what they want with that money), and increased their risk. It is an interesting thought to realize that even when the stock market crashes, each share sold is still being bought.

Alternatively, when one achieves a position of power, they deny others the ability to get that position. For example, if there is one management position available at your workplace, and you receive the promotion, your co-workers have now lost potential wealth.

How can I use this information?

In short, to get rich, one must take from another. Rather than pillage and plunder, we in modern society "take" things by investing our funds, by networking with others, and engaging in other civilized manners. When you get richer, someone is getting poorer. When you lose wealth, someone is gaining it.

To profit off this idea, one needs to find something that people are willing to trade that will increase your own wealth. As mentioned above, most people are willing to trade their time for money. If you have a small business, and you determine that it's profitable (or will free up enough of your time) to hire employees to advance your brand, by all means do so.

Corollary: If you find that you have accumulated a large portion of wealth, you should give back to those less fortunate and help make the world a better place.

In Case You Were Wondering

Moy-ster [moi-ster]
-noun
1. Business. An abbreviation of the company name "Marketing Oyster".
2. Informal Portmanteau. Cross between a mollusk and an oyster.
________________________________________
[Origin: 2007]

-Synonyms 3. Marketing Oyster, The Marketing Oyster, The Marketing Oyster LLC

Iconography

When it comes to your brand, it is important to be consistent.

Organizational Development

The Marketing Oyster, LLC began from a desire to share talent.

Genius meets Creativity

Two meetings into the project, and it was clear: success. Months before, declining membership threatened to cripple the once vibrant community organization. Now, the future co-owners of The Marketing Oyster were on a mission.

The Test

The real test would be when it was time for the annual election of members. The results were in - and they were spectacular. The organization experienced a 6x increase in formal membership interest, and a 19.67x increase in votes cast from just 12 months before. The following year, the numbers remained at the heightened level, and membership levels fluctuated at and above the organization's capacity.

Attracting New Recruits

How can your organization attract the best and brightest, and encourage more active involvement? "A first step would be to examine the organization from as many different viewpoints as possible, with a specific focus on the members who are either not yet involved; or are involved, but at the lowest level of the organization." proposes Dina Moy, senior Member-Manager at The Marketing Oyster. "This will help pinpoint the larger issues". The next step, strategic planning, involves a commitment to identify these issues and the specific steps needed to be taken to address them.

Keeping Members Active

"Organizations fail when members merely share an affiliation. Organizations succeed, and wildly so, when they share goals," says Shawn MacArthur, a co-owner of the firm.

He additionally points out that groups often have members with opposing ideas on how to achieve tasks, and agendas which become overfilled with events and resolutions. "A common vision or goal can help bring much needed unity."

Express Yourself

The complement to a well run organization is an expert publicity committee or recruiting team. A publicity team should be able to handle both the internal and external aspects of an organization. Examples of internal issues are training, retreats, the organizational structure, and member feedback. External issues includes advertising and promotional events. Organizations should make an effort to explore as many mediums as possible to promote themselves, with options including print ads, branding, and internet and e-mail campaigns.

Ready to take the next step?

The Marketing Oyster, LLC is a professional and dedicated firm ready to take your organization to the next level. An experienced marketing firm on your team is closer than your think. To find out more information, please feel free to contact us. Good publicity is Always in Season.

E-Mail Campaigns

Brand Name Success

Three (3) times per month: The marketing rule of thumb. What does it mean? Constant contact and exposure is a must for both potential and existing customers and organization members. An easy and affordable way to achieve this is to utilize the resources available on the internet and e-mail. E-mail campaigns can offer much more than traditional electronic mailings. Campaigns combine text, colorful pictures, and unique formats to keep the attention of consumers.

Mailing Lists

Traditionally, e-mail campaigns utilize pre-existing mailing lists compiled by the business. Lists range from customers who have purchased products to people who have signed up via a website or event table.

Don't have access to such a list, and would like to create one? The Marketing Oyster can provide suggestions to assist businesses and organizations in this endeavor.

Results

We can provide the language in the body of the e-mail, and supply all images. A sample e-mail is shown below:


Campaigns have a wide variety of publicity uses, and e-mail campaigns provide a professional and unique medium to reach people. Examples include businesses that advertise new merchandise and promotions to customers who have previously expressed interest in the company's products and services. An organization's meeting or event can be publicized weeks before it occurs, and again immediately before the event to remind those who have not yet signed up to do so.

Ready to take the next step?

The Marketing Oyster, LLC is a professional and dedicated firm ready to take your organization to the next level. An experienced marketing firm on your team is closer than your think. To find out more information, please feel free to contact us. Good publicity is Always in Season.